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The Islamic Way – Tips How to Deal With Family

I can’t assist but mirror on how we’d all wish to have the ideal family: every member of the family being Allah-conscious, parents fulfilling the rights of their kids and vice-versa, harmony among siblings, a wedding with very few disagreements and loads of pleased moments, and pleasantly obedient kids. Certainly, I doubt that such a family lives on this planet, yet it cannot be denied that there are several families whose pleasure radiates anywhere they may be; they have physically powerful connections of love and affection. May Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He) protect such families. 

Tips How to Deal With Family

The fact is, however, that most of us have disagreed and trouble within our families; with our parents, siblings, cousins, spouses, kids, in-laws, etc. Some of this difference is slight, while some of it has left stains of shock and wreaked chaos in the lives of so many. Where I find constancy and satisfaction, however, is in the understanding of three significant things:

Each family has their Subjects.

Pure pleasure and satisfaction with one another is reserved for Paradise, and not the life of this world.

Even within our own Islamic custom, we find numerous examples of huge people who deal with tons of material.

Believe the following examples:

Parent Objectives

Ibrahim (Abraham) (`alayhi assalam – peace be upon him), the big man that he was, was in danger by his own father when he urged to him the message of Islam. Not only did his society reject him, but his have father did too. Imagine the hurt.

Sibling/Child Objectives

Qabil (Cain) grew envious of his brother Habil (Abel) and finally slew him. These were the first sons of our common ancestor, Adam (as). Imagine the turmoil of kill within a family, and the defeat of a kid for Adam and Hawa (Eve).

The brothers of Yusuf (Joseph) (as) conspired to get rid of him totally. For years, his father Ya’qoob (Jacob) grieved the loss of his son, and upon his eventual return, Yusuf’s brothers were filled with be sorry for what they had completed. Imagine a grief that the reasons you sightlessness, as it did to Ya’qoob (as). Not only that, but Yusuf (as) was from a row of prophets (Yusuf son of Ya’qoob son of Ishaaq son of Ibrahim (as)) and was still not resistant to such a test.

Musa (Moses) (as) was furious at his brother Haroon (Aaron) (as) when he returned to get the Children of Israel worshiping a calf. He even dragged him by his head as mentioned in Surat Al-A`raf!

In Surat Al Kahf, we study from the story of Musa (as) with Al-Khidr, who was exquisitely inspired to get the life of a child because that child may have been a fitnah (trial) to the righteous parents. Clearly, their righteousness didn’t guide them to a simple ideal family life; they suffered the hardest trial they could knowledge as parents and as a couple— the defeat of their child.
Spousal Objectives

Both Ibrahim (as) and his wife Sara, along with Zakariyya (as) and his wife had problem conceiving a kid. As well, Aasiya the wife of the greatest tyrant Fir’awn (Pharaoh) brought Musa (as) into her home after not being able to have her own kid.

Maryam (Mary) (as) brought Isa (Jesus) (as) into this world alone and with no shared and spousal support. Imagine how we treat such mothers today.

Both Lut (Lot) (as) and Nuh (Noah) (as) were betrayed and left unsupported by their wives. They were prophets and still, they had objectives in their marriages.

Aasiya was severely abused and persecuted by her own husband for merely proclaiming her faith in God (as).

Our Greatest Model

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) lost his beloved uncle Abu Taalib before he accepted Islam.

He lost many of his children as infants, children and adults.

He lost his dearly beloved wife, Khadijah, and mourned her death deeply.

These are just a tiny part of the examples of family stuff that we can draw from our have Islamic custom. Really, what is even harder to consider is that those mentioned above were far more devout and honest to Allah (swt) than we could ever be, in spite of their hardships.

Become aware of that their piety did not denote a life of ease and excellence – no! Instead, they were tried with things that today, might get you and me to our knees. Because Allah (swt) tells us that He does not burden a soul with more than they can stand. By testing them with such trials, the Almighty knew that they were able of coming out purified and forgiven for their sins, inshaAllah (God-Willing).

Now, what about you and me?

I say, family objectives are predictable. Don’t look into the lives of others to escape your own problems – realize that Allah (swt) has placed you in the condition you are in because He (swt), in His supreme information, knows you can grip it.

For me, I’ve come to see family trouble as bound to happen. Although not easy in the least, my main concern has been managing it as elegantly as I can when it does happen. Our spiritual growth and purification is tied to the moments we want to talk back, but don’t, or have been betrayed by a family member and don’t look for revenge. It’s surely not easy, particularly when we have depictions of the ideal family life crossing our sights at every instant. From television, advertisements, social media and other forms of media, we are inundated with false realities of perfect, happy families.

The reality is, we all deal with stuff. The most individuals who came before us did and we surely are not resistant. The key then is, how do you deal with your stuff? With grace, or severity? With acceptance or bitterness? With resolve or chaos? Consider the following verse:

Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We consider,” and they will not be tried?” (Qur’an, 29:2)

The option is ours – let’s figure this stuff out.


And Allah (swt) knows the best.

Travel to Saudi Airlines Umrah Package with Family.

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