I can’t assist but mirror on how we’d all
wish to have the ideal family: every member of the family being Allah-conscious,
parents fulfilling the rights of their kids and vice-versa, harmony among
siblings, a wedding with very few disagreements and loads of pleased moments,
and pleasantly obedient kids. Certainly, I doubt that such a family lives on
this planet, yet it cannot be denied that there are several families whose pleasure
radiates anywhere they may be; they have physically powerful connections of
love and affection. May Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He) protect
such families.
The fact is, however, that most of us have disagreed and trouble
within our families; with our parents, siblings, cousins, spouses, kids,
in-laws, etc. Some of this difference is slight, while some of it has left
stains of shock and wreaked chaos in the lives of so many. Where I find constancy
and satisfaction, however, is in the understanding of three significant things:
Each family
has their Subjects.
Pure pleasure and satisfaction with one
another is reserved for Paradise, and not the life of this world.
Even within our own Islamic custom, we find numerous
examples of huge people who deal with tons of material.
Believe the
following examples:
Parent Objectives
Ibrahim (Abraham) (`alayhi assalam – peace be
upon him), the big man that he was, was in danger by his own father when he urged
to him the message of Islam. Not only did his society reject him, but his have
father did too. Imagine the hurt.
Sibling/Child Objectives
Qabil (Cain) grew envious of his brother
Habil (Abel) and finally slew him. These were the first sons of our common
ancestor, Adam (as). Imagine the turmoil of kill within a family, and the defeat
of a kid for Adam and Hawa (Eve).
The brothers of Yusuf (Joseph) (as) conspired
to get rid of him totally. For years, his father Ya’qoob (Jacob) grieved the
loss of his son, and upon his eventual return, Yusuf’s brothers were filled
with be sorry for what they had completed. Imagine a grief that the reasons you
sightlessness, as it did to Ya’qoob (as). Not only that, but Yusuf (as) was
from a row of prophets (Yusuf son of Ya’qoob son of Ishaaq son of Ibrahim (as))
and was still not resistant to such a test.
Musa (Moses) (as) was furious at his brother
Haroon (Aaron) (as) when he returned to get the Children of Israel worshiping a
calf. He even dragged him by his head as mentioned in Surat Al-A`raf!
In Surat Al Kahf, we study from the story of
Musa (as) with Al-Khidr, who was exquisitely inspired to get the life of a
child because that child may have been a fitnah (trial) to the righteous
parents. Clearly, their righteousness didn’t guide them to a simple ideal
family life; they suffered the hardest trial they could knowledge as parents
and as a couple— the defeat of their child.
Spousal Objectives
Both Ibrahim (as) and his wife Sara, along
with Zakariyya (as) and his wife had problem conceiving a kid. As well, Aasiya
the wife of the greatest tyrant Fir’awn (Pharaoh) brought Musa (as) into her
home after not being able to have her own kid.
Maryam (Mary) (as) brought Isa (Jesus) (as)
into this world alone and with no shared and spousal support. Imagine how we
treat such mothers today.
Both Lut (Lot) (as) and Nuh (Noah) (as) were
betrayed and left unsupported by their wives. They were prophets and still, they
had objectives in their marriages.
Aasiya was severely abused and persecuted by
her own husband for merely proclaiming her faith in God (as).
Our Greatest
Model
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
(peace be upon him) lost his beloved uncle Abu Taalib before he accepted Islam.
He lost many of his children as infants,
children and adults.
He lost his dearly beloved wife, Khadijah,
and mourned her death deeply.
These are just a tiny part of the examples of
family stuff that we can draw from our have Islamic custom. Really, what is
even harder to consider is that those mentioned above were far more devout and honest
to Allah (swt) than we could ever be, in spite of their hardships.
Become aware of that their piety did not denote
a life of ease and excellence – no! Instead, they were tried with things that
today, might get you and me to our knees. Because Allah (swt) tells us that He
does not burden a soul with more than they can stand. By testing them with such
trials, the Almighty knew that they were able of coming out purified and
forgiven for their sins, inshaAllah (God-Willing).
Now, what
about you and me?
I say, family objectives are predictable.
Don’t look into the lives of others to escape your own problems – realize that
Allah (swt) has placed you in the condition you are in because He (swt), in His
supreme information, knows you can grip it.
For me, I’ve come to see family trouble as
bound to happen. Although not easy in the least, my main concern has been
managing it as elegantly as I can when it does happen. Our spiritual growth and
purification is tied to the moments we want to talk back, but don’t, or have
been betrayed by a family member and don’t look for revenge. It’s surely not
easy, particularly when we have depictions of the ideal family life crossing
our sights at every instant. From television, advertisements, social media and
other forms of media, we are inundated with false realities of perfect, happy
families.
The reality is, we all deal with stuff. The most
individuals who came before us did and we surely are not resistant. The key
then is, how do you deal with your stuff? With grace, or severity? With
acceptance or bitterness? With resolve or chaos? Consider the following verse:
“Do the people think that they will be left to
say, “We consider,” and they will not be tried?” (Qur’an, 29:2)
The option is ours – let’s figure this stuff
out.
And Allah (swt) knows the best.
Travel to Saudi Airlines Umrah Package with Family.
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